Pretend You Live Alone

I often hear family members complaining about how others are messed up and are not willing to help clean up. They want to do things in a certain way at a certain time and feel upset, and blame everyone else who lives at home for this mood.

When they come to me as clients, they think I have magic powers that will change everyone immediately but I do not expect what I'm saying about their dilemma.

I often see surprise looks when I tell them that I live alone, so there is no one to take responsibility when the place is chaotic. I do not have anyone to pick up or organize everything. When you live alone, do not waste too much time feeling resentful of others who may have done nothing when or how you would do them.

However, here are some tips to help you with local tasks:

Meet all people living at home and list the things to do and the time frame to complete them.
Let everyone decide what they want to do and put their name in the list next to the selected item. Make sure that they are not only making a false promise, but really understand what is expected.
Identify appropriate and realistic consequences for not completing the task on time. For example, the movie is not seen until it is finished. Flights are delayed or canceled.
Be consistent and never exclude consequences (or set a precedent for the future).
Get rid of the things that cause the most work. If there is a lot of laundry, then maybe the reason is that you have a lot of clothes. Much on the ground probably refers to a lot of games. Dust takes a long time - decutter!
Use your own machines. I see two free labor agencies. All I need is to load the dishwasher and get about half an hour of unpaid kitchen help. The washing machine gives me about twenty minutes of work I do not need to do or supervise, and the dryer provides another sixty minutes of unpaid work. All I need is to invest a few minutes to fill each device and push the buttons.
Make a fun home business. Instead of feeling annoyed or upset, try to set a timer to see how much you can achieve before ringing.
Plan to reward everyone when you finish the tasks. A board game, a movie or a cup of hot chocolate can be driven.
Take responsibility for yourself. Make sure you did what you were committed to before complaining about others.
Practice and teach habits to clean your environment as you go.
My aunt used to put the following "golden rules of life" on the kitchen table to remind everyone of what mattered:

If you open it, close it.

If you turn it on, warm it up.

If you unlock it, lock it.

If you break it, admit it.

If you can not fix it, contact someone who can.

If you rouse him, return him.

If you appreciate it, take care of it.

If you mess up clean it up.

If you move them, place them again.


If you do not know how to run it, leave it alone.

 
If that will light someone's day, say so.

If that will discredit someone, keep it for yourself.

Thoughtful thoughts to think about!